My Darling Gramma

 

A few weeks ago I lost one of the most incredible women I've ever known.  My Gramma could be considered a fairly straight-laced woman.  One of 11 children, she was raised in a very strict, religious family.  She never finished school, but was forced to stay home to help work the farm after her father was severely injured in a fall while fixing the barn roof.  Those were hard times, keeping up the family spread during those bleak war years that came right on the heals of the Great Depression.  It's not surprising then that after her rather severe childhood, Gramma couldn't figure out why anyone would ever want to willingly leave the comforts of modern life to try their hand at farming, let alone prepare and can fruits and vegetables like several of her offspring and grandchildren do.

Gramma could have been bitter about her childhood, but instead she met and fell in love with my Grampa and focused on raising a beautiful family of 1 boy and 3 girls.  Even after finding out that she was expecting a fifth child when her youngest was 14, she adjusted her plans and started again - raising her 2nd son along with her ever growing number of grandchildren.

In her own way, Gramma was independent and had grit.  She didn't learn to drive until she was in her 50's, and she continued to drive into her early 90's, when she finally decided it was time to let someone else zip her around town.  She faithfully took care of Grampa, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, until the very end.  

Gramma was always healthy and lived on her own until she was well into her 97th year.  Even as her world grew dim and quiet with her failing eyesight and hearing, Gramma kept a great attitude.  Sure, there were days when her small world would get the best of her, but after complaining for a minute or two she would brighten up and ask about my or my sister's family - always remembering each by name.  With 13 grandchildren, 34 great grandchildren and 8 great great grandchildren when she passed, it would be completely forgivable to forget a name or two - but Gramma could almost always recount names and specifics about each child.  Remarkable!

Gramma was very special to me.  She lived in Michigan and we lived in Maine, which meant that our paths only crossed once every year or two.  Those visits were precious.  I remember Gramma making us pancakes every morning (such a treat!) and her famous pot roast.  Up into her early 90's, she faithfully mailed my favorite boiled fudge every Christmas.  

But after years of viewing her mostly in her role as a doting Grandmother, we became friends.  After making the difficult choice to leave my childhood church, Gramma and I had lots of discussions about what it meant to leave a church, re-think some of those core beliefs in light of God's grace and embrace a new style of worship.  She'd been through this when she joined Grampa's church after they were married, and she understood the sense of hesitation and even guilt that often comes with those first few months in a new place of worship.

One thing that has always impressed Jordan and I about Gramma was her unfailing love toward family.  No matter what she personally felt about our life choices, we always felt loved and accepted just as we were.  After several discussions with cousins and extended family at her funeral, it was evident that this was a pathos that she extended to all.

Her funeral suited her utterly.  The speaker was an old pastor that had known my grandparents for years, and he perfectly captured her spirit in the ceremony.  A faithful prayer warrior and outspoken about her faith, Gramma would have loved that the service was focused on God and His plan for us to join Him in Heaven.  The service was humorous and filled with Scripture - just as she liked it.  Gramma would have been especially proud at the end - when all 7 of her handsome grandsons escorted her out of the church.

I write this short tribute with tears streaming down my face - tears of sorrow for sure, but mostly tears of joy as I think of her in Heaven with Grampa, her family and her Savior.  She had longed for this day for many years, and I know she's far happier than she could ever be here on earth.  But I do miss her beautiful heart - and her words of love and encouragement whenever we spoke.  It's hard to fathom that she's not just a phone call away.

Gramma - thank you for your legacy of love and faith.  I look forward to the day when I can embrace you again in Heaven.  Until then, you remain dear to our hearts.