The Three Little Pigs - A True Story

Once upon a time, there was a family who dreamed of raising pigs on their farm.  One fine spring day, the family drove across town to see baby pigs who needed a new home.  Three pigs were chosen, and the family welcomed them to their new abode.  At first, the three little pigs were happy at their new home.  But then, the big bad dog Angus greeted them.  Angus made the pigs skittish, and more than a little nervous.  Besides, the piggies yearned for their mommy.  So, as the farmer ran to his nearby shed to repair a small opening in the pig pen fence, the three little pigs squeezed out of the hole and dashed away.

The first little piggie rushed as fast as she could across the field, away from the farmhouse.  Unfortunately for her, Angus could also run fast, and the little piggie was cornered at the bottom of the hill.  She fought valiantly against the big bad dog, but she was quickly subdued and returned to the farm, a little worse for the wear.

The second little piggie was smarter, and he ran past the house toward the road.  He was not smart enough, however, as he only ran in circles.  Shortly thereafter, the pig returned to the farm where the farmer's wife stealthily steered it back to the farmer who captured it with his trusty net.  The net broke and chaos briefly erupted, but this little pig was cornered and eventually caught.

Meanwhile, the third little piggie was very wise, indeed.  He sprinted west toward the forest and the setting sun.  The farmer, his wife and relatives from both near and far took up the search.  He was spotted and almost apprehended on numerous occasions, but his swift feet and the farmer's broken net assured his freedom again and again.  It soon grew dark, and the farmer's family returned home empty handed. A cold, steady drizzle greeted the farmer the next morning.  With each passing wet and chilly hour, hope of ever finding the missing pig dwindled.  Several searches were conducted, but the little piggie was not to be found.

Suddenly, after dinner, the telephone rang.  A bitty lost piggie had been spotted trotting down the road near the farmer's house.  The farmer and his family hopped in their truck with renewed hope that the prodigal pig might return.  The farmer spied the pig and pushed it toward the farmer's wife, his unusually silent daughter and the big bad dog.  Hilarious mayhem ensued, but the farmer prevailed and the hungry, exhausted piggie returned home where it promptly curled up next to its brother and sister and fell fast asleep.

Yes, this is one little piggie who will live happily ever after - until the farmer's wife roasts him on Christmas Day!

In summary:
One little piggie tried to return to the market.
One little piggie stayed near home.
The two who didn't roam were rewarded with roast beef.
The third, wandering piggie received none.
And that sad little piggie squealed "Flee! Flee! Flee!" all the way home.